Kathryn March 12th, 2011
I don’t miss high school… Not one bit! If there was anything I would say that I miss it would be that when I was in school, I saw and talked with one of my best friends everyday… But even then, I still have that friendship and although I don’t see and talk to her every day like I did then we are still good friends, we’ve just grown up a little and have our own lives to live!
Now if I could tell you what I DON’T miss about high school… the list is LONG! But at the top of the list would have to be the drama….
I remember a girl at school being SO upset that her best friend had a boyfriend and that, as she put it, ‘he has changed her.’ Because of this issue that she had (or that she created, depending on which way you look at it) she lost her best friend – and in the long run it probably cost her a lot of friends… Thinking about it now I remember that she had the same issue with at least one of her other friends. At the time I had never been in a relationship, and yet I could still see that this was an over reaction. Now, probably 9 or 10 years on I think about that situation and have learnt an important lesson.
The view of teenagers, and perhaps the view of the world, is that you should never allow another person to change who you are. There is some merit to that. You should never allow another person to lower your standards, or tell you that you are less than what you are. When that start to happen and you start to believe it, that’s when trouble starts and you can end up in a very dark place. You can’t see the way out and looking at it to the extreme it can destroy your life…. BUT… You SHOULD allow other people to help you raise your standards and help you feel important, loved, and like the child of God that you are. When that happens then you reach new heights, achieve goals greater than what you thought you would ever be able to achieve and what is most beautiful about that is that you can then lift those around you.
I’ve never been, and probably never will be, a big fan of change…. my husband and my mum will testify to that…. But I have come to know how necessary and beautiful it is. It’s change that allows us to become and be better than we were yesterday, I’m sure that any one who has suffered from an addiction will testify to that. It’s change that allows us to make new friends, ask anyone who’s had to move interstate or overseas and met a friend who they will be forever grateful for! It’s change that allows us to gain knowledge and experience, ask someone who has lost their job and taken the opportunity to go back to uni and start a new career! But the biggest thing I’ve learned is this – It is change that allows a couple to create a happy and successful marriage. I love my husband and my son, and because I love them I am continually wanting to be a better wife and mother. I can’t do that if I don’t change…. it’s impossible. If I chose to not let my husband change me and he chose not to let me change him then we would be heading in different directions, but as partners we are continually making the changes necessary to reach our goals.
By asking someone not to change we are ultimately asking them to stop growing and learning…. and why would we want that for a friend? I am not in touch with my friend from high school anymore but I’m sure that she has changed, and I hope that somewhere she has learnt that allowing someone to change isn’t such a bad thing!
I hope that I never have and never will try to stop anyone making positive changes in their life. If someone ceases to change then they also cease to grow, and to me that is one of the saddest things of all.